Pouring a little out.

I really need to stop lingering over frivolous issues. I get so caught up in the small things & too often I lose sight of what matters. I allow my past (& everyone else's) affect how I feel & what I think. I am tired of always being so cynical. I watch Matt make such an effort to get me out of my ruts, but sometimes I am so deep in my cynicism his efforts go ignored. I can't believe that in the midst of my insecurity I am unable to communicate what I'm feeling. I have to stop doing this. I really need to succumb to the happiness I am offered on a daily basis.  I want to be a better girlfriend & a better friend. 

Here's to loving life

I find myself in one of the best moods I've been in for some time now. Don't get me wrong, I've been very happy with where my life is going but recently there have been some new developments in how I feel & what I am doing. Matt & I are experiencing a lot of growth in our relationship & therefore feel as though I am growing as a person & what feels better than knowing you are maturing & becoming the person you are meant to be? We are taking it one day at a time & focusing on what is important. I feel confident in where I relationship is headed.

I started working for an agency called Behavior Functions & I am on the fast track. It is one of the best opportunities I've ever been given, I get to learn & practice all things Applied Behavior Analysis approach on cases with children with Autism. My foot is in the door with my career & every day I come to be more passionate & eager to learn! I am currently working on once case & by next week I will be working two more. From day one I've experienced a team of professionally encouraging staff (which actually includes my sister) who are also eager to teach me. I have been told that I have a natural skill in interacting with others & have a great potential to be a successful Behavior Specialist (& then on..) I am being offered a job position of a Behavior  Technician  starting next month & I cannot wait! 

I am getting back to school this Fall, finally! I will be taking my assessment tests this Saturday & I couldn't feel more unprepared. Matt helped me study a bit for the math section a few weeks ago, but I feel as though I have forgotten it already. Another reason I believe anything beyond basic elementary math is useless... It's been 5 years since I graduated High School & not until now am I having to remember math. & again I will probably test low & have to take some ridiculous math class, only to forget what I learned 5 years later. I am obviously bitter about this matter, but good luck to me, I'm going back to school.


Today I had an unexpected message from an unexpected person, which is another reason why I am in such a great mood & so happy. Knowing that there has been reconciliation in a long lost friendship brings tears of joy to my eyes. Just another confirmation that my life is moving forward. We will be reunited this Friday. ( I can't wait to see you Mword)

I have set some pretty general goals lately. Mostly goals that pertain to my physical appearance. I say that with the least vain attitude I can have about the subject. For the last couple years I have really slacked on taking care of myself. Yessss I'm talking about what I eat, how much I exercise/or don't & all the way down to how often I shave my legs (though Matt swears he doesn't care) It's about being a woman for me. So I am making more of an effort to give myself manicures more often, take care of my hands- after all, I do have on a beautiful ring that gets looked at every once in a while, I don't want people noticing my chipped nail polish over my beautiful diamonds ;) I am starting small which is why  I haven't weighed myself & I'm not going crazy about my calorie intake. All I am focusing on is not eating fast food, drinking soda, & anything that is clearly unhealthy for me. I'm also wanting to be more consistent with some sort of exercise. (e.g. cardio, (running, swimming-when it's hot enough) & light weight training) because really the production of endorphins makes you happy & I want to be happy. I went for a run today & then did some sit ups, I've been in a great mood since then. I'm working on feeling better about myself & my health. (I'm going to throw in there that I haven't smoked for 4 months & counting, that's a huge deal, since I smoked for 5 years) 

So here's to loving life. 

& fitting into a wedding dress!

Photos from the Museum of Latin American Art

Time

Matt & I are getting closer to setting a date. Although I have an idea of what time of year I want our wedding/how soon I want us to be married, there is a lot to think about. We have been doing really good with our money lately. We don't eat out a lot like we did when we were first dating & that has saved us a lot of money. For the first time ever I feel as though I have better control over my spending habits (thanks to Matt of course)

I am working again & this means Matt & I are spending less time together, but it has been good. I personally feel as though I am appreciating more the time we do spend together. While I was unemployed we were spending every day together, morning till night (unless he was working) & we weren't giving each other any space. We were arguing over stupid things a lot (mostly my issues) & it was becoming strenuous on our relationship & the time we spent together. It was exhausting. So it's nice to say that we are moving past that & moving onto some good times. Because we are trying to save money for our wedding we've been doing some free/close to free activities. He took me to a beautiful museum Sunday & we spent the after noon admiring photographs & sculptures (& found a possible venue for our wedding. shhh) We took a lot of photos ourselves. (I'll post them later) Then walked around 2nd St. in Belmont Shores then sat on a curb & ate an ice cream cone. Here's a snapshot of us on the curb.