My Dearest Matthew,

I never want a day to go by without you knowing how much I love you & I never want to take for granted how much you love me. I never have doubts of whether I am where I am suppose to be or if I'm doing what I'm suppose to be doing. You reassure me by simply being in my life. You make it all easy; easy to love you, easy to care for you, easy to be me, & easy to move past my anger so that I never miss a moment of happiness with you.

An even greater thing about you is your thoughtfulness towards me. You're always looking for ways to make me smile. For example, I just got a picture message from you. It's a picture of you holding your eye brows up with your finger making you look like a sad puppy dog, & you just know that makes me melt. & I couldn't receive anything better than that right now as I write you this.

Matt, you make me want to be a better person. A better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better aunt, a better girlfriend (& I know eventually a better wife) The truth is, & I know you know, I am not perfect: I have horrible road rage, I stay mad after arguments, I'm self conscious, I over analyze everything, I'm lazy, I spend too much money on food, & with that I eat horribly & do not exercise nearly as much as I should... yet in spite of that you tell me I'm perfect for you & that you wouldn't change a thing about me.

1. You're crazy. B. The way you love me only makes me want to give you the best of myself & not those petty problems. So I'm working on it. For me, for you, for us.

Every day brings us closer to the people we were meant to be to one another & together as a couple. I can't imagine my life any other way. It's you & me forever. Has it really only been 5 months?

"Eight days a week
I love you.
Eight days a week
Is not enough to show I care."

Love always,

Your little darling.

Marriage

I wonder if my desire to grow up will be met with regret of all of my responsibilities. You know, like when a kid wishes he were grown up to do "cool, grown up things" only to realize when they get there & are forced to do those "things", certain responsibilities follow... Well I have been grown up for a couple years, but the responsibilities that come with marriage are much more than that, very different. You live together, share (almost) everything from bills to toothpaste & chores. My desires to experience that with Matt are becoming heavier & stronger on a daily basis. I want to start it. All responsibilities included.

Of course I can't wait for our beautiful wedding, but marriage is what I have realized I am waiting for. Sharing my life completely with another human being.

So this is what I wonder, will I be met with regret of all my married responsibilities? (NO I am not asking if I will regret getting married...) but when I get there, will I wish I hadn't grown up & still playing with the other kids. Probably at some moments, like when I realize I'm short on the electric bill because I went shopping... I hope he can live with that. :)

Red Rock Canyon hike.

These are the photos from our hike in Red Rock Canyon State Park. The drive wasn't too far from Las Vegas, although we had a hard time finding the trail, the scenic drive was worth it.

Las Vegas

We got back from Las Vegas yesterday afternoon just in time for Matt to make it to work. The weekend was relaxing & fun. Matt's parents rented this amazing house just a couple miles from the strip with a pool, pool table, jacuzzi, Wii, huge screen TV, our own slot machine, & 4 bed rooms. it was pretty amazing. We took advantage of every bit of it. Matt & I spend saturday night stranded in the house with no keys & 2 cars sitting out front, talk about frustrating. But we made the best of it, watched movies & ordered pizza; felt like we were in our own house. Sunday morning we woke up to have a nice breakfast & then headed out to our hike in Red Rock Canyon. It was absolutely beautiful (will post pictures this week) We came home, napped, then the whole family went down to the strip & had a fancy dinner in Mandalay Bay & gambled for about an hour. Matt & I have gone to Vegas 2 times before this trip & haven't had much to worry about money wise. & during those trips we easily gambled a few hundred dollars; but now that we have a wedding to think about we practiced a little self control. We did walk away with small winnings. $50 here, another $15 there. A weekend in Vegas was just what we needed.